Speaking American

Dear Desi,

You've moved here to the land of opportunity et al (don't believe too much of the opportunity bit, significant marketing at work there) and you're trying to find your feet.

One of the first things you need to figure out is speech. It may sound like English, read like English, but it is assuredly not the same language they speak here.

Superlatives

Everything is either terrible or fantastic or awesome or people are SO sorry. Don't believe a word of it. Discount about 99% of the emotion you read behind the words. Do not, for instance, attempt to coopt the speaker who has said "So sorry" when you missed the bus, into giving you a lift. 

Just doesn't make sense

You say "thank you" and someone says "sure". Sure of what? Whatever happened to "you're welcome"? or even the desi "mention not"

Mean the exact opposite of what they say

"It was great meeting you. We should get together sometime!"

Translation: You're great, but we're not ever going to get together: I've already got friends, and I'm way too polite to intrude on your life with something like an invitation to drinks, or whatever, even if you're new in town and are actually sitting at home by yourself. (I borrowed this from a cool list here: https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/seattle/things-people-say-in-seattle-vs-what-they-actually-mean)

Mean EXACTLY what they say

"Let's go out for a drink"

Emphasis on the "a" rather than "drink". This means that if you were visualising a happy late Friday evening getting sloshed to the gills, think again. It means that you get into that bar at 5:30, have a drink and get out at 6. Honest! 

Will go to insane lengths to abbreviate

U Dub - is actually the same as University of Washington. Where's the dub coming from? Not dubstep, though it is pretty popular here. Good try. No - it's UW (yoo double yoo)

Delusional lies mixed with the truth

"It doesn't really rain so much out here. More like a drizzle. And the summers are gorgeous!" 

Have fun :)

desi khaana : eating in and out

So you've unpacked and settled, and are wondering about where to get khana like amma makes: don't.

The Eastside is full and I do mean full, of desi grocery stores. First things first. You need to cook enough for a few meals and freeze them else you'll be in the kitchen ALL the time. And remember: do NOT chuck that pressure cooker and kadhai in the dishwasher unless they are dishwasher-safe else they'll come out looking horribly diseased.

Buy Ziploc freezer bags (smaller ones make more sense so that you are only thawing out as many portions as you need). When you thaw do so in the refrigerator, with a plate or something below to catch the inevitable drips. When you freeze, ensure that you place the bags in a plate or tray or an additional surface that will not stick to the freezer. It's hilarious to watch someone else struggling with iced-over plastic bags, cursing them with dire consequences and flinging salt about like a maniac, but it's not so much fun when you're the one doing it. Been there done that, for the vast entertainment of a toddler, a dog, my mother-in-law and husband, all proffering most unhelpful suggestions.

Here goes the list of popular Indian grocery stores in the area:

My favourite so far is "mera pyar, Shalimar" (remember the movie?): at 16541 Redmond Way, Redmond. Shalimar has everything including Moraiya flour, which I confess to never having heard of. There is a small selection of fresh Indian veggies as well. They also have fresh halal meat (goat, too, not just lamb) and chicken, which is brilliant - order in advance for fresh meat. To top it, they also run a restaurant with very reasonably priced and tasty food, both veg and non-veg.

Then there is Apna Bazaar in Bellevue at 2245 148th Ave NE. This has a larger selection of green veggies, reasonably well-stocked aisles, though I felt that Shalimar had a far better selection of dry groceries.

Mayuri is pretty popular too, with two branches in Redmond and Bothell. They also have a couple of restaurants, which I haven't yet been to.

I am not reproducing the long list of Indian grocery stores in the vicinity because you can just get it from a quick search query, but I will say that it takes time to pick out your favourite or most convenient store and it does help to have a few handy for quick reference.

While eating out, you're equally spoilt for choice:

There's Moksha in Bellevue, which I would recommend you skip. We found the food mediocre and overpriced. Disappointing overall.

The Guilt Trip, in Redmond is fairly pricey as well (can set you back by about 100 dollars for a full meal for a family of 3-4) but serves great Indian fusion cuisine - I particularly liked their black cardamom kulfi.

Naan-n-Curry in Renton, an old favourite hereabouts, does a superb Mughlai / North Indian spread. Not the cheapest, but nowhere near the prices you'll encounter at the above places.


Dakshin in Kirkland serves great South Indian food (yes, non-veg too) in a basic setting ("bus" or clean your own tables please). It's a bit pricey but the weekend breakfast box is good value.

Buffets are really your best bet for variety and value for money. Our favourite is

Oh India in Bellevue is our absolute favourite on several counts: it's got great variety; the food is hot and tasty (we avoid the pakoras though); good desserts and hot masala chai and it's very reasonable - a family of three and a kid can comfortably tuck in for $40. No décor to speak of but hey, who cares? There may be a queue on weekends.

Kanishka in Redmond also does a decent buffet and is reasonably priced.

So as the old ad went, "khaaye jao... gun gaaye jao"