Speaking American

Dear Desi,

You've moved here to the land of opportunity et al (don't believe too much of the opportunity bit, significant marketing at work there) and you're trying to find your feet.

One of the first things you need to figure out is speech. It may sound like English, read like English, but it is assuredly not the same language they speak here.

Superlatives

Everything is either terrible or fantastic or awesome or people are SO sorry. Don't believe a word of it. Discount about 99% of the emotion you read behind the words. Do not, for instance, attempt to coopt the speaker who has said "So sorry" when you missed the bus, into giving you a lift. 

Just doesn't make sense

You say "thank you" and someone says "sure". Sure of what? Whatever happened to "you're welcome"? or even the desi "mention not"

Mean the exact opposite of what they say

"It was great meeting you. We should get together sometime!"

Translation: You're great, but we're not ever going to get together: I've already got friends, and I'm way too polite to intrude on your life with something like an invitation to drinks, or whatever, even if you're new in town and are actually sitting at home by yourself. (I borrowed this from a cool list here: https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/seattle/things-people-say-in-seattle-vs-what-they-actually-mean)

Mean EXACTLY what they say

"Let's go out for a drink"

Emphasis on the "a" rather than "drink". This means that if you were visualising a happy late Friday evening getting sloshed to the gills, think again. It means that you get into that bar at 5:30, have a drink and get out at 6. Honest! 

Will go to insane lengths to abbreviate

U Dub - is actually the same as University of Washington. Where's the dub coming from? Not dubstep, though it is pretty popular here. Good try. No - it's UW (yoo double yoo)

Delusional lies mixed with the truth

"It doesn't really rain so much out here. More like a drizzle. And the summers are gorgeous!" 

Have fun :)

Thriftily yours...

Stop converting from rupees to dollars (you'll starve if you do, because you won't be able to bring yourself to buy food at the local supermarket or grocery store). Done? Read on for the good news...

Thrift stores. Yes, I know what you're thinking: second-hand, used stuff... Ugh! "Humaarey culture mein toh yeh sab nahi chalta hai..." Time to rethink that attitude, most especially if you have kids.

The fact is, that unlike in desh, there is a decent level of quality control as to what makes it to the shelves of thrift stores. If you had a kabadiwalla with awesome quality control, this would be it. Think more along the lines of chor bazaars with functional, usable stuff.

A couple of my favorite buys include a comfy upholstered rocking chair (10 dollars), some really great clothes for all of us and other knick knacks for the house. The thing to remember is that you need to recheck stuff for minor damages that may have been overlooked while putting it out there. But hey, we're used to shopping at places like Fashion Street, Sarojini Nagar and what have you, aren't we? A lot of the stuff can be exchanged so you don't really need to worry on that score, however, not everything can, so a check never hurts. 

Then there is Treehouse for Kids which keeps all manner of stuff for kids: from sports items to bags; toys to clothes. The great news here is that since this a consignment store, you can simply bring in stuff that your kids have outgrown to sell them so that some other kids can use them. Of course, things need to be in reasonably good condition. 

Majesty is another consignment store for kids but the options and choices seem to be rather limited, though they do have some maternity stuff on offer. 

Or there is Rags to Riches in the Redmond downtown area, which specialises in women's clothing, both casual and dressy. You also get that warm fuzzy feeling while shopping here because fully a quarter of all proceeds go towards helping out disadvantaged people in the Bahamas. Also it would be kind of like thumbing your nose at racism by shopping here (The owner was recently traumatised by an incident in which a man left a KKK robe and loose rope in a bag at her store. 

For those of who you work in Microsoft (lots of people do, out here - and that is the understatement of the century) check out the sellbuy alias within Microsoft. You often get superb deals there, including houses, if you're so inclined. We picked up a 6-seater Lazyboy recliner for a song. I lie. We included a hip shake too, but what's life without a little song and dance? And I do mean that in all senses of the phrase...

desi khaana : eating in and out

So you've unpacked and settled, and are wondering about where to get khana like amma makes: don't.

The Eastside is full and I do mean full, of desi grocery stores. First things first. You need to cook enough for a few meals and freeze them else you'll be in the kitchen ALL the time. And remember: do NOT chuck that pressure cooker and kadhai in the dishwasher unless they are dishwasher-safe else they'll come out looking horribly diseased.

Buy Ziploc freezer bags (smaller ones make more sense so that you are only thawing out as many portions as you need). When you thaw do so in the refrigerator, with a plate or something below to catch the inevitable drips. When you freeze, ensure that you place the bags in a plate or tray or an additional surface that will not stick to the freezer. It's hilarious to watch someone else struggling with iced-over plastic bags, cursing them with dire consequences and flinging salt about like a maniac, but it's not so much fun when you're the one doing it. Been there done that, for the vast entertainment of a toddler, a dog, my mother-in-law and husband, all proffering most unhelpful suggestions.

Here goes the list of popular Indian grocery stores in the area:

My favourite so far is "mera pyar, Shalimar" (remember the movie?): at 16541 Redmond Way, Redmond. Shalimar has everything including Moraiya flour, which I confess to never having heard of. There is a small selection of fresh Indian veggies as well. They also have fresh halal meat (goat, too, not just lamb) and chicken, which is brilliant - order in advance for fresh meat. To top it, they also run a restaurant with very reasonably priced and tasty food, both veg and non-veg.

Then there is Apna Bazaar in Bellevue at 2245 148th Ave NE. This has a larger selection of green veggies, reasonably well-stocked aisles, though I felt that Shalimar had a far better selection of dry groceries.

Mayuri is pretty popular too, with two branches in Redmond and Bothell. They also have a couple of restaurants, which I haven't yet been to.

I am not reproducing the long list of Indian grocery stores in the vicinity because you can just get it from a quick search query, but I will say that it takes time to pick out your favourite or most convenient store and it does help to have a few handy for quick reference.

While eating out, you're equally spoilt for choice:

There's Moksha in Bellevue, which I would recommend you skip. We found the food mediocre and overpriced. Disappointing overall.

The Guilt Trip, in Redmond is fairly pricey as well (can set you back by about 100 dollars for a full meal for a family of 3-4) but serves great Indian fusion cuisine - I particularly liked their black cardamom kulfi.

Naan-n-Curry in Renton, an old favourite hereabouts, does a superb Mughlai / North Indian spread. Not the cheapest, but nowhere near the prices you'll encounter at the above places.


Dakshin in Kirkland serves great South Indian food (yes, non-veg too) in a basic setting ("bus" or clean your own tables please). It's a bit pricey but the weekend breakfast box is good value.

Buffets are really your best bet for variety and value for money. Our favourite is

Oh India in Bellevue is our absolute favourite on several counts: it's got great variety; the food is hot and tasty (we avoid the pakoras though); good desserts and hot masala chai and it's very reasonable - a family of three and a kid can comfortably tuck in for $40. No décor to speak of but hey, who cares? There may be a queue on weekends.

Kanishka in Redmond also does a decent buffet and is reasonably priced.

So as the old ad went, "khaaye jao... gun gaaye jao"

Take a breather...

Now that you're here (and yes, it's probably raining - oh - have you been to REI yet for gear? Kit yourself out for the rain. North Face and REI offer great, high-quality all-weather gear. We found our rain boots and warm waterproof coats and jackets invaluable. Here's the thing: Do not skimp on rain gear. It's the one thing you really need here to get out. Without it, you're pretty much stuck and wetter than, well, a wet blanket. Yes, it's grey most of the time, but there are shades and shades of grey (book? what book? no reference whatsoever!) and it's truly gorgeous on most days once you're out. They don't call Washington the Evergreen State for nothing. And Redmond is the bicycle capital of the Northwest, dating all the way back to the first Redmond Bike Derby in 1939, so get out that cycle, pop on a helmet and head out.   

What you really need to do if you're going to keep from going stir-crazy in the initial days, is check out what your city has to offer. King County has a fabulous network of superbly-equipped public libraries. Check out www.kcls.org. Up on offer is a whole bunch of activities: from story time for kids of all ages (including Hindi story time every alternate Saturday) to citizenship classes for adults (though you're probably still a long way away from there); a great selection of books and videos that you can check out (100 items at a time), computer / internet use  (2 hours at a time) and print outs (75 B&W pages a week), dedicated kids areas, quiet / study areas, meeting rooms that you can book in advance and use for activities... And it's all *free*.

Meetups are a great way to meet new people, connect with your interests and find new ones and the Eastside has any number of meetups happening from bikers and hikers to moms to essential oils and natural lifestyles, book clubs, writers groups, crafts, sports, DIYers, different sexual orientations... It can be extremely alienating to land in a new environment without knowing anyone at all, but here's the thing. First, people are friendly and pretty much oriented towards their interests, be they family and baking or crafting and hiking. Secondly, there are any number of desis here. While I was aware of this as an academic fact, it sort of came home to me when I was checking out preschools for my tot. A class went marching out and there were at least 7 out of every 10 kids who were desi. That's not to say that you will find your countrymen and women universally friendly. In the balance, I have probably had a better experience striking up a conversation with white Americans here than with Indians (when they are both strangers).

And my last bit of gyan is a total gem on Sunday nights. One place you totally have to check out is the "best Irish pub in Eastside Seattle" reliably reported by a lovely Irish lady who's been here for 15 years. I agree with her. Wilde Rover has this really cool band called The Herding Cats that plays every Sunday from 9pm onwards. They mostly play music from the 80s through to the late 90s covering everything from George Michael to Led Zep and more. And the coolest thing about this place one of their regulars: a 95-year-old called John Finch who sings with them every time he's there and totally rocks the place. 

Cheers to that and to your time here.

फिर मिलेंगे।

अब हम तो भये परदेसी - what to pack from India

Ms. Kolhapure had joyfully crooned these words from the Bollywood blockbuster Prem Rog in another era but I wasn't quite as joyous at the thought of leaving des  behind for a place which has three kinds of weather (raining, just about to rain or just finished raining) - Yup - Seattle, in North West US, or to be more accurate, Redmond was our destination.

So here I am, with dog, toddler and MIL in tow, joining the husband like a dutiful wife. And guess what? I ALREADY have advice to dispense. Of course, my friends complain that I am always dispensing advice, but hey, you can always skip to the next blog.

First things first. If you are moving here (presumably because someone in the family has got a job in either Microsoft or Amazon or Verizon or Boeing or one of those massive tech companies that dominate the landscape here) check your relocation benefits. I cannot emphasise this enough. Check your relocation benefits.

Chances are you'll get a container load of space (and that's a LOT of space). Make full use of it to ship out stuff that you either won't get here or will be horribly expensive. Yes, it's a pain to inventory everything and value it but it really helps to know what you have and what you'll need and chances are that it will be more expensive here. If you have stuff you're already using and the free space to send it, do your pocket and the environment a favour and ship it across. And really, if you have the space at this end to house it, send everything and you still won't be anywhere near half the container capacity.

We shipped out solid wood furniture to furnish our entire home (including a bar, a wall mounted desk - more on that in another blog - two double beds, a sofa cum bed, two sofas, some four or five chests of drawers, a collapsible dining table and six chairs) Why? Because wooden furniture is SUPER expensive here, it has a decent resale value (if you're packing up and moving back), it lasts and is much sturdier than particle board which is basically what you will get at IKEA.

You cannot ship out food stuffs or liquids - more's the pity, but do send clothes, good quality clothes hangers, solid steel utensils - make sure to include two pressure cookers in different sizes and kadhais (no woks are not the same despite what anybody tells you) Definitely bring over a chalni (the kind that you use to fry puris with).

Don't bother with any electricals excepting phones, tablets and laptops unless they specifically say that they can run on 110v. You'll blow everything including that beautiful FabIndia lamp.

Gifts are a great idea to send in the container so that you are stocked up. Desi gifts are also good talking points. Check out this online store for ordering really great traditional and handmade stuff.

If you have a dog and kid (basically, two kids) send the bulk of their bedding, all non-seasonal clothing, toys and books across in the container and make do with what you have.

Make sure your suitcases have the following for everyone:

• enough medication for EVERYONE (including the dog) for three months with prescriptions.
• enough changes of clothes so that even if you're reduced to washing everyday till your container arrives, you're covered (pun intended)
• one sensible pair of shoes
• some toys / books to entertain the kids.
• basic toiletries.

Time it: your sea container shipment will typically take about 2.5 months door to door. Air cargo is typically much smaller and much quicker (about two weeks). You need to finalise a house to rent around the time your shipment is coming in so that you're covered for the move. (Your relocation package will typically allow for warehousing your goods for a certain duration but may or may not including unpacking after warehousing - so do check).

TIP: What worked really well for us, though it was serendipitous, was my staying back for three months and shipping the containers out (managing things at the India end); hubby dearest identifying the house, renting it and managing things at the US end. This gave us a fully set up place to move into and equal slog for both parties. I love a fair distribution of labour :D

More later...